Mindset & Motivation Monday's - Victim Mentality

"Broken people raise broken people." A quote from the last episode of Iyanla Vanzants 'Fix My Life' special focused on the "angry black woman".

Sometimes, people are broken in the midst of them being raised and aren't raised by "broken" people.  The question is, when do people become unbroken?

While watching 'Unsung' on TV One, I watched the story of Tammy Terrell.  A sweet young girl who loved to sing/perform that wanted to be a star.  One day on her way home from school when she was I believe 12, she was raped by 3 older boys.  After that, she changed and became more promiscuous, well not more promiscuous, she became promiscuous. Her innocence was taken from her.  She became a star, dated much older men, was beaten by a couple of her lovers yet ended up seemingly finding true love unfortunately she died at the age of 24 from brain cancer.

Then I watched the story of Billy Preston, he too was violated as a young boy by a boy/man, that wasn't made clear.  When he told his mom what happened to him, she didn't believe him.  A young, bright, talented, gifted young boy, his innocence stolen from him.  He continued on as a musician, however, he found "relief" in drugs.  Preston died in his 50's I believe from kidney failure and a mix of drug abuse.

Both of the 2 mentioned above were victimized and never seemed to fully heal from it.  There victimization is slightly different from this next hypothetical example.

Actually, we will go back to Tammy Terrell, as a teenager she went on tour with James Brown.  She was his "love interest."  After one of his shows, he was upset she didn't watch him the ENTIRE time, as soon as he walked off the stage he proceeded to beat Tammy all the way down the stairs and to his dressing room or wherever.  Immediately after, Tammy reached out to a gentleman and said please take me to the bus station and buy me a ticket home.  The gentleman called her mom, her mom/family was there the next day and they took her home.  At the moment Tammy asked for help OUT, she STOPPED becoming a victim.

When (wo)men are in abusive relationships as adults, when does the victim mentality stop? When does one stop being a victim? When does one simply walk away?  (these questions don't include molestation, rape or other forceful acts)

Jamesia Johnai
Personal Empowerment Advocate